New Years Reflections

As I mentioned in this post, the Jewish new year is all about reflecting on the previous year and trying to do better the next year. It is now Yom Kippur, and as I sit her (starving), I have been thinking a lot about my past year. What was good? What wasn’t so good? What can I improve on? What should my goals be moving forward? This is what I came up with- and I will intertwine my thoughts with some photos from my hike with Erin yesterday at Heller Nature Center. Because nature helps me clear my head and refresh my thoughts. Here goes:

This last year was overall a very good one. First of all I was reading some older blog posts, and I came across this one. I think that although I didn’t consiously think about what I went to bed happy about every night since that post, I subconsciously was trying to figure out what makes me smile, what gets my heart pumping faster, what excites me. When you’re in your early twenties, it can be stressful trying to figure out what it is you want to do with your life. We face a lot of pressures from our surroundings that can confuse us and make our heads spin with questions. What is everyone else around us doing? Is that what I should be doing? What will people think about this? But in the end, will this make me happy? Will I be proud of who I am if that’s what I do? Does that matter?

Then you think back to when you were little, and what you said you wanted to be. And how that thing you said you wanted to be began to define you as you grew up. But you’ve changed. And you no longer want to be a fireman, or a teacher, or a chef. But everyone else still pressures you with that one goal you mentioned way-back-when. So then you think. And think more. And think until you almost go crazy! You feel rushed to decide what you want to become. And you realize you just don’t know yet! And then you decide to leave for California and explore your passions. And slow things down. Oh wait, that’s just me 😉

I guess what I’m saying is that in this last year I have become a lot more at peace with myself. I stopped talking about what I want to do, and being so difinitive about it. I was easier on myself, and a bit more care free than in the past. I’d like to call this last year my exploration year, a year when I was open to the fact that every other day my career choice might change, and that’s okay. It was more important to figure out who I am. I was working, making some money, but still unsure if it was what I wanted to do, and needed to do to be satisfied with the person I am and will become. I started this blog, and began documenting what I loved doing.

While I am still unsure about what I will end up doing career wise, I am positive that I have narrowed it down to some of my true passions. And I think if you’ve been reading my blog, you can tell what those things are. I have proved to myself that I love these things so much and that I can dedicate myself so purely to these things enough to turn them from hobby to career. Hopefully. One day. And I will strive to make that happen, in baby steps every day.

What I want to practice most this upcoming year is forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself and for others as well. I really hate dissapointing myself, making myself promises I can’t keep and then being upset. I need to be more forgiving, and realize we’re all human, and we’re all going to do things we wish we hadn’t, and make mistakes. It’s part of life. But what is really bad is holding grudges. It’s always better to forgive- not forget always- but definitely forgive. I want to give others the benefit of the doubt and try and see the good in others and the things they do. I mean, everyone has a story, and everyone has a reason for what they do. When we get down to the root of things, we’re all in this together.

I also want to make sure that I am fully present in whatever I do this year. When I am eating, I want to fully enjoy my meal. When I am running, I want to just be running, and appreciating that I am running. I want to simply be with friends when I am out with friends. When I am working, I want to be focused and being the most efficient worker I can be. I don’t want have my mind be at a different place than my body. That is how you miss out on life.

SO… to new experiences…

Discovering what’s right for you

Forgiveness…

And being present in the moment…

Happy new year!

I hope you discover and follow which path is right for you.

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2 Responses to New Years Reflections

  1. Auntie Sally says:

    Jamie,

    I read your blogs everyday and they amaze me and always put a smile on my face! You are truly an amazing person and I’m not just saying that because you are my niece! You have so many passions and convictions and I really admire you for that. You have realized things in your 23 years that I am just realizing now at 55! You have so many talents and gifts that I am certain you will be successful at whatever you decide to do in your life ! You truly inspire me and for that I am forever grateful! Keep following your passions and being true to yourself! I look forward to following your life’s adventures!!

    I Love You
    xoxoxo
    Auntie Sally

  2. Pingback: L’ Shana Tova | jamelafamela

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